So you want to be an entrepreneur? OK, put your bag over there and pull a seat. I know you’re busy going through Facebook posts and posting how tweritweri is your year of breakthrough, hash tag SmashingGoals.
I will be brief and let you go smash them.
First, Government will ask you for 101 documents.
KRA will dig your past and bring you a bill including your mother’s breast milk which you consumed but never declared.
Second, to get a loan the Bank will demand a 6 months statement from a “healthy account”- in other words, before they give you money you must have money. And must have had it for 6 months 🙄
Third, your family will pressure you to look for a real job. Mshwari will remind you everyday that you are only worth 1,500.
You will then gather courage and start small by selling small small. Because Njenga Karume started small. 😂 Your friends will encourage you on FB by liking all your items and asking the price even though it’s there on the poster 🤦♂️ then they will go buy from strangers.
But God will remember you through a friend who sends you a big tender with a guaranteed 50% down-payment. The only thing you need is a registered company and KRA PIN which you have. So you borrow the 1,500 from Mshwari to prepare a world class tender document. But as soon as you deliver the 200 page document, you are told the Tax Compliance Certificate which your friend didn’t mention is missing. That is when you realise you have been selling small small and not filing returns to KRA hence you cannot get a Tax compliance. You take yourself to KRA and act with humility mixed with misery. You explain how an earthquake swallowed all your earthly possessions including all your relatives and you’re the only one left. But do they care? In fact, now they says you owe them Kshs. 491, 756.72. Saitan! 👹
You get pissed and say can’t pay and won’t pay!So you become clever and rush to register a new business/company with a completely different name to confuse the enemy but lo and behold, you meet him at Times Tower on 3rd floor counter 5 dressed in a white short sleeved shirt.